Living, Dying and Humility

One of the most valuable assets we can bring with us as we accompany the dying, as we walk someone home is a sense of humility.

It requires not only our keys, phone and worries to be left at the door but also our ego.

Entering their space with a beginners mind.

Being present with curiosity.

No matter how many times we have been present at the bedside of someone dying we don’t know it all.

We can never know it all.

We cannot change the outcome.

As family, friends and doulas we are not there to fix or heal – as much as we wish we could.

We are there to provide a soft place for all that they are experiencing to land.

The love, the anguish, the grief, the joy, their truths, hopes and fears.

And we cannot assert our own value system over those of the person dying or their family.

Whether cultural, spiritual, familial, political or even emotional.

It is not for us to say how living, dying and death should or shouldn’t be done.

Our beliefs, behaviours, practices, and core values are not of importance here.

Only those of the dying.

People may make choices that we ourselves wouldn’t make and it is not for us to judge, correct, criticise, change or belittle that choice but to hear it and advocate for it.

To champion it.

To champion them.

With love as always

Nancy 💚 xx

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