Initial Consultation – Complimentary
I offer an initial 30 minute telephone consultation at no charge plus a 1 hour follow-up home visit so you can get to meet me in-person, we can chat more about how I might be able to support and guide you and you can make a more informed decision about whether you feel happy and confident in me taking on the role as your End of Life Doula.
My ultimate aim is to offer you and your loved ones beautifully supportive companionship, and, if you wish, to help you choreograph how you wish your dying experience to be and to enable this experience, not just to be a comfortable one, but for it to be unique and special to you. I wish to empower you and your loved ones to have quality, heart expanding time together. I will provide as much or as little support and guidance as you need. If you have loved ones that want to play a significant role in this I will support that. If you have loved ones who want to play a big part in this stage of your life but are fearful and unsure of how to support you I will guide them. If your loved ones are far away I can be there for you and provide open, honest communication with them.
Below is a description of each offering.
Advance Decision/Living Will
An Advance Decision is sometimes known as an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment (ADRT) or often known as a Living Will.
Most of us understand the importance of writing a Will in which we record what happens to our money, possessions and property in the event of our death but many don’t consider an Advance Decision.
An Advance Decision is a document which details what medical care you would like to receive in certain medical crisis or events should you not have the capacity or ability to communicate them for yourself.
An example of the questions asked in an Advance Decision include whether you would want to receive life-sustaining treatment such as CPR, artificial ventilation and/or assisted nutrition or hydration in the event of a serious brain injury, dementia, diseases of the central nervous system and terminal illness.
When you complete and sign your Advance Decision and have it signed by a witness it provides a legally binding document.
Importantly it clearly communicates your wishes to loved ones (and medical staff) in a time of crisis when people may be experiencing overwhelm and in a highly emotional state.
When your wishes are clearly communicated it can help avoid any conflict or confusion over how to proceed with your medical care.
I can be a supportive guide in completing this document whether you are currently receiving end of life care or healthy. I strongly advocate for getting these documents in place whilst you are still healthy – it’s a reassuring gift to yourself to know that they are in place and a real gift to your people should you suddenly become unable to communicate your wishes yourself.
End of Life Care Plan
Your End of Life Care Plan is a unique document detailing your non-medical end of life wishes including during the active dying stages and immediately after your death. It details your non-medical holistic physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological wishes and needs to support you in having a peaceful and dignified death. As you approach the end of life this period of transition is incredibly special.
Here are some of the things we will explore:
- Given the choice where would you choose to die?
- Who would you like to be there with you?
- What might bring you physical, spiritual and/or emotional comfort at this time?
- Are there any rituals, poems, prayers, stories or celebrations that might bring you comfort at this time or you would like to take place after your death?
These are just some of the areas we will explore as I support you in drawing up your End of Life Care Plan into a document to share with anyone who will play an active role in supporting and caring for you at the end of your life.
Building a comprehensive picture of your end of life care wishes can help to allay many fears or anxiety about dying and death, empowers you at a time when many things may feel out of your control and enables you, your loved ones and care givers to make any necessary preparations to enable your wishes to be carried out.
I will also provide a free service should you wish to update or change any details after it’s completion.
Again, I strongly advocate for getting these documents in place whilst you are still healthy – it’s a reassuring gift to yourself to know that they are in place and a real gift to your people should you suddenly become unable to communicate your wishes yourself. So know that I can support and guide you through completing this document whether you are currently receiving end of life care or healthy.
Life Review
Your Life Review will provide an opportunity for you to evaluate past events and memories providing a space for you to recall and reconstruct your life stories, resolve conflicts and thank those people in your life that you have been/are grateful for. This can provide you with a sense of peace and feelings of empowerment.
Legacy Project
Your Legacy Project will be something you create – a gift that your loved ones can interact with after your death. Here are just a few ideas and, perhaps, reading these will inspire you with other ideas.
- Writing individual letters to your loved ones.
- An audio recording.
- A recipe book
- A photograph album
- A book of poems or stories
- A piece of art, a quilt or something creative.
- A memory box
- A video recording
A Living Funeral/Celebration of Life Ceremony
I can support you and your family with organising a personal and meaningful Living Celebration of Life Ceremony. This is a beautiful way to celebrate your life with loved ones and friends before your death. Why wait until the funeral for people to express how much they love you and will miss you? You want to hear it all and celebrate it all while you’re still alive right? It’s an opportunity for those very people to shower you with love and appreciation, share memories and make memories for those left who will go on living after your death, to laugh, love, and reminisce. It can involve rituals, story telling, candle lighting, a sharing of gifts, your favourite music. Thanks to technology it can even involve loved ones who can’t physically be with you.
Companion Animal Support
It can be such a worry knowing you are facing end of life and have a companion animal. I will help alleviate some of the worry and strain by ensuring your non-human friend is well cared for and supported. Here is some of what I can offer:
- Advocating for their needs and enabling you to have the comfort of that relationship right up until the end. If it’s important for you to have your cat, dog or other furry or feathered companion beside you on your bed then it is important to me too and I will support that.
- Supporting you with finding care for your companion animal after your death.
- When possible being your companion animal chaperone at your funeral should you wish them to be part of the service. It can be such an unsettling time for our furry friends and they too will grieve your death. This enables your loved ones to focus on supporting each other whilst knowing your beloved companion will be receiving the best of care.
Vigil Sitting
Vigil Sitting is being present and holding sacred space for a person who is in the active phase of dying and for a short time after death. The active process of dying can last anything between 5 days and a few hours. Signs that death is nearing might include
- Loss of appetite
- A change in breathing
- Mottling of the skin
- Increased physical weakness and drowsiness
- Decreased urinating
Through Vigil Support you will receive:
- Advocacy and guidance to ensure your End of Life Plan is followed as best as practicably possible
- 24 hr on-call support
- Post death body care including shrouding
- Meditation and visualisation for both the client and care-givers
- Compassionate Touch Therapy
- Grief support for family and loved ones
- Up to 3 weeks post death visits to loved ones to support them as they resume life without your physical presence (total up to 6 hours).
Individuals might require minimal Doula guidance if they already have a large network of support in place.
Or maybe you have a dedicated network of support in place but feel you would benefit from some additional Doula presence, guidance and support.
Some individuals might be looking for increased Doula presence, guidance and support.
And sometimes, when a family can’t (or would prefer not to) be present, 24 hour vigil support can be provided. In this case, it might be necessary for the Doula to bring in additional support to enable her to take breaks on the clients premises so there is always someone keeping a permanent vigil but with the Doula close at hand. An extensive Doula presence is most suitable for individuals with no available support or whose people cannot be present.
If you wish and it suits your needs better together we can put in place a package that not only provides a comforting framework of support but offers flexibility and value.
Companionship
Most importantly, above and beyond all of the services I detail above, I offer companionship and a listening ear. If needed I can provide a chaperoning service for hospital appointments, to see therapists or funeral providers and even to take you out and about to visit friends, family, shopping, to a cafe or a support group.
Perhaps you need support to care of your companion animals or just someone to sit and hold space for you. The whole premise of my work requires deep listening skills so if you want to talk or simply sit together in silence or meditation I am here for you. I am here for you whatever your needs.
My questions to you are “What is most important to you right now and how can I be of service?”
Pricing and Packages
My ultimate mission is for my doula services to be available to you all regardless of your financial situation. In an ideal world these services would be free to access. However, as things are, I do still have bills to pay and a family to support.
It’s really difficult to put a price on the services I provide, so unique and bespoke as they are. What value can I place based on my time, skills, overhead costs, continual professional development and what it takes to be available to people?
But ultimately, and quite rightly so, most people want a figure. So they can plan ahead and not feel the discomfort of asking. And I want transparency.
So, I set my hourly rate at £20.
Vigil support is set at £35 an hour. This service is much more intensive (in time, emotional bandwidth and skill).
But just so you know, you and your family will NEVER be turned away if you cannot afford these fees.
Everything I offer is bespoke – tailored to your exact needs to create a unique, personal and meaningful experience for you and memorable for your loved ones. Held in our awareness will be your ever changing needs and wishes and what matters most to you in your end of life care.
Do get in touch and together we can explore how I can best support you.
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