Today sees the start of Dying Matters Awareness Week and the theme for this year is “The way we talk about dying matters”.
So, I’m going to kick the week off by talking about the euphemisms we use in order to avoid using the word “death”.
You can tell a lot about a culture by looking at the words and phrases they use in place of death and dying.
It doesn’t help that we have become so far removed from the dying and death due to it’s medicalisation over the years and the gate-keeping of funeral directors (I’m glad to see this now slowly changing).
So here, as an example, is the Monty Pythons Parrot sketch which is a classic in death euphemisms.
“This parrot is no more. it’s expired and gone to meet it’s maker. This is a late parrot.”
Do we feel that alternative words are softer or less final?
Sometimes it’s as if the words “dying” and “death” get caught in the throat and out tumble the euphemisms in it’s place.
Here’s the thing – death is not a dirty word or a negative word.
Not to mention some alternative words to death have been known to cause confusion such as “lost” or “gone” especially to children.
The way we communicate about dying and death is important.
Death is a natural part of life and normalising the words can help not only take the fear out of what we will all experience but provides clear communication and an invitation to contemplate and discuss the realities of simply being alive.
It shifts us towards ownership of it.
Bringing dying and death back home to ourselves and to the community.
Death hasn’t always been as taboo a topic as it is today.
Feel free to share your thoughts or perhaps you have used or heard a death euphemism not listed here?
Bit the dust
Become worm food
Gone to heaven
Six feet under
Passed away
Meet your maker
Breathe your last
Went to a better place
Pushing up daisies
Taking a dirt nap
They lost the battle with …………
Carked it
They’re at the pearly gates
Kick the bucket
Shuffle off this mortal coil
Popped their clogs
Gave up the ghost
Called home.
Called back to god
In a professional capacity I don’t use euphemisms for death.
Die, dying, dead, died, death are part of my professional vocabulary.
I don’t sugar coat it, swaddle it in bubble-wrap or put a screen up around it.
That is not helpful to anyone.
And yet, at my celebration of life or funeral, my mischievous self would like my death described as all of the above.
Perhaps I’ll instruct a ticket be left on everyone’s chair and they have to call it out – like a register of arrivals.
Or, I’ll instruct matching pairs of euphemisms to be left randomly on attendees chairs and midway through or at the end of the service everyone has to mingle and find their matching pair and, maybe, share how they know me or share a hug?
Well, now I’m getting carried away.
If you have a favourite euphemism what is it?
Nancy
#dyingmattersawarenessweek #dyingmatters #endoflifedoula
HELD 