Death has a habit of taking us by surprise.
We always think we have more time with those we care about than we really do.
Even when death is expected.
Even as our person has begun actively dying.
And the death of our loved-one almost always comes as a shock. It feels so sudden.
Again, even when it’s expected.
It’s a really strange scenario.
You know it’s coming.
You prepare yourself for it.
And yet, you are not ready for it when it does happen.
Sometimes, you sit by your person’s bedside for hours, you get up to go for a pee……..and death happens when you are out of the room.
No matter how much we prepare ourselves psychologically and emotionally nothing can fully prepare us for the finality of it.
Perhaps this is due to the fact that we are so far removed from death. Where once we were cared for at home within a community of support and helpers at the end of life whereas now we are carted off to be cared for by others. Hidden from sight of the community and those around us. As a result few get to befriend the intimacy of death.
Perhaps the shock is because this death is a stark reminder of our own mortality.
Or perhaps we are just not ready to release the spiritual and energetic ties that bind us. Similar to having the umbilical cord between mother and baby cut at birth, this invisible, yet tangible cord that connects us, sends a shockwave through all our systems when it is cut at the moment of death. Where, although this person is ever present in their love, our lives are forced to continue separate or independent of them.
Perhaps it’s a mixture of all the above?
This really, is a reminder, a call to action, to say the things you need to say whilst you can.
Go and visit and hold your person’s hand even if words fail you.
Because, quite often, that touch, that shared moment, says more than words can ever say.
Speak to them, through these words or touch, as if it’s the last time you will see them, because one day, it will be.
This moment really does matter.
With the tenderest of love and affection
Nancy 
xx
HELD 