To have my wish granted for a natural burial is one thing.
Where I am laid to rest in nothing but cloth directly in the earth so that the fertility of my body provides fertility for nature and life yet to come.
But oh, to also wonder how it might feel to lay upon the ground to take my last breath.
Body curled in a foetal position.
Cheek against the earth.
Listening to her heartbeat.
I wonder if I have an invisible umbilical cord forever attached to mother earth.
If I were to look straight ahead, I would witness from ground level, the tall grass, flora and fauna swaying, dancing and bending as it is moved by the swirling air.
Or, perhaps, I’ll have someone special lying on the earth facing me.Holding my hand.
Or spooning me.
I’ll be the little spoon.
I know that Mother Earth has enough strength to hold us both.
So we can commune.
Breathing in the scent of the wild.I wonder, with my nose so close to the grass if I could smell it’s fresh scent would it invoke memories and dreams of long walks and summer picnics.
My out-breath being carried away on the breeze.
I wonder how it would feel to be accompanied by the stillness yet gentle busyness of nature as life continues regardless of this life that is ending.
I wonder what it would be like to be laid upon the earth this way whilst being lovingly tended by those who care deeply enough for my being.
Honouring my wishes.
Honouring me.I wonder if a bed of nature is possible.
Not one of human fabrication.
Not a hospital bed.
Not one bought online or in a shop.
Not a bed that creates a barrier between myself and nature.
A nest.
Of moss.
Of grass.
Of leaves.
Of pine needles, soil and sand.
A bed for my heart.
Where it beats it’s last beat.
And where I take my last breath.
I wonder how it might feel to lay upon the ground to take my last breath.
With tenderness
Nancy x
HELD 